Sales Skills – Specifically Questioning Techniques to Improve Your Social Life? Come on.. Really??
Yes Really!
I recently attended a party where most of the participants had not previously met. It reminded me, to some extent, of a Business Networking function. I decided to spend a little time in this event observing conversations much like I do when coaching our sales teams.
What I noticed immediately was that there were two main sets of communicators, those that engaged their partner and those that disengaged and even alienated their new conversational partner.
Here are the differences I observed:
The communicators that spoke with many people and kept the conversation engaging were the people that asked open-ended questions. You know… those are the questions that begin with – who, what, where, when, why, how, tell, me more about that, etc., Selling Skills 101, right? Exactly!
These effective conversationalists not only asked good open-ended questions, they also interjected with their own experiences as a way to relate to what the other person was saying. But they kept the conversation on themselves only briefly as it related and/or they’d interject with a little story. These effective conversationalists took great care in turning the conversation back to the other person.
Those that struggled with interactive conversation had no idea what they were doing wrong. I typically refer to this conundrum as “can’t see the forest through the trees”
What were these struggling conversationalist doing to get in their own way? This group was engaged in asking close-ended questions – these are those questions that begin with, “Are, Is, Do,” etc. and in doing so, these conversations appeared strained, impersonal and interrogative in nature. To make matters worse, these ineffective communicators interjected with far too much “look at me” related experiences – keeping the focus on themselves for far too long.
My advice is simply this: PRACTICE – Practice at home, in the grocery store line and in social settings.
Get in to the habit of naturally – just asking open-ended questions and see how much more information you obtain and how much easier the conversation flows.
In sales, effective communication and questioning techniques help us gain the details we need to understand our client’s business needs. When we question and converse effectively we also gain credibility and in the long run this differentiates us and allows us to help our clients more thoroughly.
This is a skill that can be obtained – but only with deliberate Practice, Practice Practice!
PS. Those effective communicators had the best conversations and made more new friends.
We’d love to hear from you.. share your conversational experiences.




In a book called Practical Intelligence by Karl Albrecht, Karl references Jeff Foxworthy’s comedic phrase, “you might be a redneck if…” Karl’s revision of Foxworthy’s phrase is, “you might be mental redneck if, you take pride in having strong opinions and in stoutly defending them, and you have no patience for wimps that don’t.”
This week I observed a Regional Trainer named Hyla, swoop in from California to help manage the sales teams during the absence of their Leadership. The tricky part of swooping in during major change is to do so gently yet firmly. The ability to do this without overturning the sales teams ATTITUDE applecart is an important skill — that sadly, for many is not always intuitive.
During my direct selling days, I conducted seminars and invited C-levels from existing and potential target clients to attend. This was not a sales presentation. Instead it was an opportunity for my target and existing clients to obtain new information that was pertinent and important in their industry.
If you’d like more detail on how to pull this together: make a comment, share a success, send me an email or just ask right here.
Another great story – 9 steps towards sales success